Former England and Newcastle star Gascoigne is currently touring a one-man show around the UK.
He told 1000-strong audience how SIR ALEX FERGUSON was furious that the Geordie decided not to sign for Manchester Utd and wrote in no uncertain terms... calling him a 'fat bastard'.
Gascoigne, lovingly known as Gazza, has used the show to detail his long fight with alcohol.
He was joined onstage in Bournemouth by fellow soccer boozer Jimmy Greaves, 71.
Gazza said he realised he was an alcoholic after Eric Clapton quizzed him when he was 28.
He told the crowd: “I knew I was f***** then.”